torsdag, februar 16, 2006

Here´s Johnny (again)

Dagens oppgave her på kontoret endte raskt opp med å bli: komme på sitater fra Mike Leighs film "Naked", hvor tidligere nevnte David Thewlis spiller rollen som Johnny, husløs, arbeidsløs, men med et galopperende intellekt og et skakt, misantropisk verdensbilde. Følgende tre sitat ble stående:

1.
LOUISE (Johnnys søster): How did you get here?
JOHNNY: Well, basically, there was this little dot, right? And the dot went bang and the bang expanded. Energy formed into matter, matter cooled, matter lived, the amoeba to fish, to fish to fowl, to fowl to frog, to frog to mammal, the mammal to monkey, to monkey to man, amo amas amat, quid pro quo, memento mori, ad infinitum, sprinkle on a little bit of grated cheese and leave under the grill till Doomsday.

2.
LOUISE: So what happened, were you bored in Manchester?
JOHNNY: Was I bored? No, I wasn't fuckin' bored. I'm never bored. That's the trouble with everybody - you're all so bored. You've had nature explained to you and you're bored with it, you've had the living body explained to you and you're bored with it, you've had the universe explained to you and you're bored with it, so now you want cheap thrills and, like, plenty of them, and it doesn't matter how tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it's new as long as it's new as long as it flashes and fuckin' bleeps in forty fuckin' different colors. So whatever else you can say about me, I'm not fuckin' bored.

og til slutt (og vedkommende får dagens "Rain Man""-pris for evnen til å huske replikker ordrett:

3.
Samtale mellom Johnny og sikkerhetsvakten Brian, som beskytter et tomt bygg i London.
JOHNNY: Are you not familiar with the Book of Revelations of SaintJohn...the final book of the Bible prophesying the Apocalypse?
BRIAN: Yes, as it happens, I'm familiar with all the books of the Bible.
JOHNNY: I'm very happy for you. "He forced everyone to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead so that no one shall be able to buy or sell unless he has the mark, which is the name of the beast...or the number of his name, and the number of the beast is -."
BRIAN: I know about it.
JOHNNY: Great.
BRIAN: I know about Nostradamus. Nostradamus talked about three brothers. Did he mean the Kennedy brothers or was he talking about three bits of the Soviet Union?
You see? You just can't tell.
JOHNNY: Fuck Nostradamus!I'm not talking about Nostradamus or Mother
Shipton or Russell Grant or Mystic-fucking-Meg. I'm talking about the holy fucking book! What can such a specific prophecy mean? What is the mark? Well, the mark, Brian, is the bar code, the ubiquitous bar code...that you'll find on every bog roll and every packet of johnnies...and every poxy pork pie. And every fucking bar code is divided into two parts by three markers. And those three markers are always represented by the number six.
Six, six, six.
Now, what does it say? "No one shall be able to buy or sell without that mark." And now, what they're planning to do in order to eradicate all credit card fraud...and in order to precipitate a totally cashless society...what they're planning to do, what they've already tested on the American troops...they're gonna subcutaneously laser-tattoo that mark onto your right hand or forehead.
They're gonna replace plastic with flesh.
Fact!
In the same Book of Revelations, when the seven seals are broken open...on the Day ofJudgment and the seven angels blow the trumpets...when the third angel blows her bugle, wormwood will fall from the sky...wormwood will poison a third part of all the waters...and a third part of all the land, and many, many, many people will die. Now, do you know what the Russian translation for "wormwood" is?
BRIAN: No.
JOHNNY: Chernobyl.
Fact!
On August the 13th the planets of our solar system are gonna line up into the shape of a cross.
BRIAN: I don't believe in astrology.
JOHNNY: I'm not talking about astrology! I'm talking about astronomy. They're gonna line up in the fixed signs of Aquarius, Leo, Taurus and Scorpio...which just happen to correspond to the four beasts of the Apocalypse...as mentioned in the Book of Daniel.
Another fucking fact!
Do you want me to go on?
The end of the world is nigh, Bri.
The game is up!
BRIAN: I don't believe that. Life can't just come to a stop.
JOHNNY: All right, I'm not saying that life will end or the world will end
or the universe will cease to exist...but man will cease to exist. Just like the dinosaurs passed into extinction, the same thing will happen to us. We're not fucking important. We're just a crap idea.


David Thewlis på vei gjennom London, Manchester, eller begge deler.