onsdag, februar 22, 2006

Lacktr Prpgnda ekspanderer!

Enkelte medlemmer fra Lacktr Grphcs og Lacktr Txt har gått sammen og formet en ny brikke i Lacktr-puslespillet: Lacktr Crtns & Gnrl Nnsns (Cartoons & General Nonsense) vil produsere tegneserier i bokform og muligens også tegnefilm (når folk fra Lacktr Video finner frem til de nye lokalene nederst i gangen), i tillegg til andre og enda mer unødvendige ting. I første omgang vil vil Lacktr Crtns & Gnrl Nnsns konsentrere seg om å lage tre tegneseriebøker, disse vil bli laget i kun ett (1) eksemplar hver og lagt ut for salg eller tyveri. I denne forbindelse vil også Lacktrshop dukke opp, som en kanal hvor man kan kjøpe ting man ikke trenger for penger man trenger mye lenger, ting som plakater, dingser og visvas vil bli tilgjengelig fra tid til annen, overpriset og av tvilsom kvalitet. Men det vil være Genuine! Genuine! Genuine! og det er det viktigste.

Lacktr Crtns & Gnrl Nnsns og Lacktrshop vil ikke dukke opp på noe organisasjonskart før de har levert varene. Det er avtalen og forutsetningen for at de har fått lov til å bryte ut fra sine tidligere plasser. Om de ikke leverer innen rimelig tid, mister de også kontoret sitt. hardt og brutalt.

Lacktr benytter også anledningen til å formidle sitt verdikart eller kall-det-hva-du-vil, vi kaller det mission statement fordi vi ikke kommer på ordet vi egentlig skal bruke. I stedet for å bruke tid og energi på å sette det sammen selv, har vi benyttet et program som via enkle retningslinjer og koder setter det hele sammen for oss, automatisk og tilfeldig. Fordelen er at det går fort, er gratis og gir akkurat like lite mening som disse bruker å gjøre. Ulempen er at vi blir nødt til å følge retningslinjene (var det ordet? nei, det var ikke det) uansett hvor idiotiske de er. Men, forsåvidt, det gjelder jo enhver bedrift.

here goes:

LACKTR PRPGNDA MISSION STATEMENTS

• It's our goal to extend open-source face time to take over the world and successfully market an overhyped weak line of products.
• We resolve to envision massively-parallel key players and solutions.
• It is our function to strive towards productively visualizing our massively-parallel functionalities to permit us to better serve the country.
• It's our function to take steps towards effectively optimizing visionary meta-initiatives as part of our five-year plan to waste a lot of time in meetings.
• We have committed to make strides towards harnessing our interfaces and innovating our total quality management to make our founder enough greenbacks to exceed the net worth of the world's richest man.
• We resolve to execute a strategic plan to spearhead our world-class relationships and strategize our sub-vision.
• It is our duty to reinvent our metrics to allow us to successfully market an overhyped lesser brand.
• It is our duty to reinvent our content and our enterprise metrics in order that we may make our founder enough cash to exceed the net worth of the world's richest man.
• We intelligently simplify interactive net-bandwidth so that hopefully we may better serve our workers and make our founder enough bread to exceed the net worth of the world's richest man.
• Our responsibility is to speedily utilize proactive skill sets to permit us to meet the expectations of the globe and create a more affordable product line.
• It is our job to zealously maximize supply-chains and our net-infrastructures.
• Our obligation is to enable our architectures, extensible portals, and our sub-content in order that we may produce a finer line of products that kicks the market's ass.
• It is our function to productively facilitate multilevel e-content.
• We resolve to strive to leverage our evolutionary technologies to allow us to efficiently envision innovative architectures as part of our master plan to remain profitable in today's industry.
• It's our function to vigorously envision our relationships and world-class e-portals to enable us to prevent bankruptcy.
• We resolve to zealously embrace progressive net-functionalities as part of a larger strategy to produce more income for our head honchos and waste a lot of time in meetings.
• We resolve to endeavor towards practically aggregating customer-centric e-synergies and skillfully generating our e-key players.
• Our business is to synthesize our object-oriented solutions, our global leadership skills, and proactive content in order to exceed customer needs.
• Our obligation is to continue towards endlessly visualizing niches to allow us to better serve our serfs.
• Our job is to engage in delivering supply-chains and syndicating our effort-intensive niches so that we may waste a lot of time in meetings.